What is Toxic Positivity?
Toxic positivity refers to the idea of constantly promoting and insisting on positive thinking, even in situations where it may not be appropriate.
At a deeper level, it results in suppressing or invalidating negative emotions or experiences and insisting on maintaining a positive outlook at all times.
While positivity and optimism are generally healthy, toxic positivity is problematic as it denies or ignores the reality of negative emotions, struggles, or difficult situations.
It creates unrealistic expectations and pressure, making individuals feel guilty or inadequate of experiencing normal, human emotions such as sadness, anger, or frustration.
How does it affect people the giver and the recipient?
For a giver, Constantly promoting toxic positivity may stem from good intentions, as they genuinely want to uplift and support others. However, it can become emotionally draining and put them under pressure to maintain a facade of positivity at all times. The giver may sometimes end up to suppressing their own negative emotions and deny their own struggles, leading to a lack of authenticity in their interactions and potential burnout. It can also strain their relationships as others may perceive them as dismissive or insensitive to genuine concerns or difficult experiences.
For the recipient, being subjected to toxic positivity can be invalidating and disempowering. When someone is going through a challenging situation, hearing constant messages like “just think positive” or “everything happens for a reason” may make them feel unheard or misunderstood. It can add to their emotional burden and prevent them from expressing their authentic feelings. This can lead to a sense of guilt, shame, or self-blame for not being able to maintain a positive outlook. The recipient may also feel discouraged from seeking support or sharing their struggles, fearing judgment or further dismissal.
Toxic positivity can strain relationships, hinder genuine emotional connections, and contribute to a culture of emotional suppression. It is essential to cultivate a supportive and empathetic environment where individuals can express a range of emotions without judgment or pressure to conform to a strictly positive mindset.
How do you recognise it?
Denial or invalidation of negative emotions: When emotions such as sadness, anger, or frustration are dismissed or trivialised, by suggesting that one should only focus on positive thoughts and feelings, toxic positivity is being encouraged.
Overemphasis on positive thinking: Toxic positivity places excessive emphasis on maintaining a positive mindset, regardless of the situation or the individual’s genuine emotional experience.
Pressure to be happy all the time: It promotes the idea that individuals should constantly display happiness and optimism, creating a pressure to suppress or hide any negative emotions they may be experiencing.
Minimization of struggles or challenges: Toxic positivity downplays the difficulties and challenges people face by offering oversimplified solutions or cliché phrases like “everything happens for a reason” without acknowledging the real impact of these struggles.
Invalidation of genuine concerns: It dismisses or undermines legitimate concerns or issues by suggesting that focusing on the negative is unnecessary or unproductive.
Avoidance of difficult conversations: Toxic positivity can lead to avoiding conversations about uncomfortable or painful topics, preferring to maintain a superficially positive atmosphere instead of addressing deeper issues.
Lack of empathy and understanding: It often fails to acknowledge and validate the authentic experiences and emotions of others, demonstrating a lack of empathy and understanding.
Guilt or shame for experiencing negative emotions: Toxic positivity can make individuals feel guilty or ashamed for not being able to maintain a positive outlook, leading to further emotional distress.
It is important to acknowledge that emotions, both positive and negative, are natural and serve important functions in our lives. Embracing a more balanced and realistic approach to emotions is known as emotional acceptance. It allows individuals to acknowledge and process their emotions in a healthy way. By validating and understanding our emotions, we can navigate through life’s challenges and work towards genuine well-being and resilience.